It's been forever.

I've been in and out of treatment over the past couple years. I have been in residential, in partial hospitalization, in intensive outpatient. Since 2012 I have been admitted IP/Residential 4 times. Was in PHP/IOP in between long stays and haven't really been treatment free since then. 

My weight at lowest in 2012 before going in was 108.2 lbs, which isn't my lowest ever, but it's underweight for 5'8. It's gotten up to at the highest in those couple years 128.8lbs. But generally it stays around 125 when I am doing what the nutritionist tells me I must, and she saws that's even lower than she'd like. 

I miss my bones. I've been relapsing all the time. I restrict, I purge. I restrict, I eat, it triggers a binge and purge. 

Tomorrow I plan to restrict.